Talafofo Falls is Creepy

Well, I decided to go ahead and devote a post to further explaining the horrific experience that was Talafofo Falls on Guam. 

Travis and I had been reading about various destinations on Guam, and Talafofo Falls sounded like one of the "must sees." I'm still debating whether or not it qualifies since it was certainly like no other place I have ever seen.

Allow me to explain....

We followed our little map to Talafofo Falls. When we pulled up to the entrance, we were greeted by nasty pigs. They were splashing around in slop and were apparently part of the Talafofo Falls experience. In fact, you could purchase pellets to actually feed the atrocious creatures.

We couldn't help but wonder if this little Japanese boy was going to have to check that box on the customs form that asks if you had any interaction with wildlife. These pigs were disgusting.

We approached the ticket counter and were handed a brochure outlining what awaited us. It looked like a wonderful little fantasy land complete with rides for children, a petting zoo area, a little fun house and cable cars waiting to take us away to a beautiful paradise of waterfalls. $40 for the two of us seemed like a steal after glancing through the brochure! Oh, and once we forked over the $40, the ticket gal told us that our admission even included access to "Love Land." So, of course we asked, what Love Land was. "It's for couples, you know, adults," was her response.

We walked through the gates and BAM! this is what greeted us.

Oops, someone forgot to mention that the cutesy little train was out of order since, oh, I don't know, maybe 1993.

Oh, and I guess the pool's not exactly open either. Check out the fenced-in area behind it. What we thought was a petting zoo is actually a cock fighting ring. Sometimes those are easily confused.

Beautiful little garden with green moldy water. $40, seriously!

The "tram" was a bargain. Only an additional $1 to ride it.

After we had lost all hope in this place, we thought that surely the historical museum would have something to offer. We were such fools, though.

Is that not so wrong?

Well, I'm sure at this point, you are wondering what "Love Land" entailed. I can't go into much detail, but I will say that curiosity did get the best of us. We just had to take a peak. It was by far one of the most disturbing experiences I have encountered. It entailed approximately 40 white statues doing very inappropriate things. Needless to say, we didn't stay long.

So, if you're heading to Guam, I would suggest avoiding Talafofo Falls unless, of course, you enjoy dysentery.